I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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