Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
