Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
