your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
