Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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