I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
