Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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