oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Randomize
