At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
