it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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