i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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