Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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