I just saw a hot homeless man
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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