u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize