hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They have beer where we have blood.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
