Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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