Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
