that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There r osticjed everywhere
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
