i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
