Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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