her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
