Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
