I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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