things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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