Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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