Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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