If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
