The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
