Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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