I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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