I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
