i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
high people should be assigned attendants
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize