I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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