Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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