He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
