guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We are two peas in an std pod
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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