He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
