no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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