"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
