so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
