id be glad to
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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