I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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