I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
