Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
