is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
