We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
