Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize