So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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