Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
