My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Two words: blizzard sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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