maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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