Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
