come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
