Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
two words: eviction party
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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