A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
did you just send me my own nude
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
