It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
