found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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