Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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