No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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