im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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