i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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