Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
