Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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