Betty ford says i'm here all night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
