dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
